you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
