wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
