Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
