I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
