this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
