I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
