you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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