This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
