Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
