We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
