Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
