If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
