At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
