Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
