had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
this will be a night to untag.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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