i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's blow job season.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
