I'm drive I can fine osifer
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
operation have a gay friend backfired
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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