he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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