I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
where are my eyebrows?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
