Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i already hear my dad disowning me
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
