The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
They took my balls.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
me + whiskey = a bad person
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
