Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Terrible idea I love it
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
