Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
