that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
