i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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