u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
