eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
