i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
