3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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