I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
