IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
