Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
