Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
