I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
