I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
