Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
