The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
