That reminds me...we need to get swords
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
