just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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