Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
