did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So vagazzling was a success
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
