It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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