i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
