I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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