We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
