Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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