Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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