We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
