I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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