Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
